Skip to content

#316: Ass

#316: Ass published on 1 Comment on #316: Ass

Mike: So Man of Steel was pretty awesome. While I don’t think it’s the definitive Superman movie, it’s pretty close, and it’s by far the most fun. It certainly took the lessons of Superman Returns to heart and filled it will so much action that it was almost too much. I’ve been waiting a long time for a movie to take flying characters and create amazing, fast paced action sequences. Superman’s flying felt so natural and smooth. I thought they did a great job changing up the mythology to be new and interesting but at the same time keep the spirit in perfect match. I only felt the story telling was a bit choppy in the beginning. Almost as if they just couldn’t wait for Zod to show up. I wish they trimmed down the action a bit to fill out the first act and work on the CGI a bit more. While the effects were fantastic there were times when they were obviously CGI but it was still within acceptable tolerance. Henry Cavill was great and there was one brief moment I swore he looked like Christopher Reeves which is always gives you a great feeling. My favorite scene may have been the ending, they pulled that off perfectly. I love it and I sincerely hope DC has finally understood how to make a great movie that isn’t Batman. It’s a great sci-fi action take on Superman.

James: Time for me to poop the party, I guess. I hated Man of Steel something fierce. Thumbs WAY down. Two dimensional characters spouting expositional dialogue in nearly every scene, a forced romance with zero chemistry between the leads, and some truly bad casting choices are the core problems. The highlight of the casting trouble has to be cute-as-a-button Amy Adams’ attempts to play the tough as nails, army-brat turned Pulitzer prize winning reporter. It’s adorable, like watching a kid play dress up in mommy’s business suit adorable. The lowlight has to be Jenny Olsen. Not that they gender-flipped a relatively minor character or that the actress does a poor job, but because the ONLY reason they did it was to have a damsel in distress in the third act besides Lois. Yeesh. One step forward and two steps back, eh ladies? Zack Snyder managed to avoid going slow motion at every turn, but he’s traded in that handicap for some overactive and frankly overly busy camera work that ruined a few otherwise really nice action scenes. The overuse of CGI gets obnoxious at certain points in the film, but we knew that was coming. The real fuck ups come from the script and to discuss that this review is going to get super spoilery, so read on at your peril.


You’ve been warned.


Turn back now!


Still here? Ok, the Jesus symbolism is laid on so thick you can eat it with a spoon, Pa Kent dies in the absolute stupidest and most pointless self-sacrifice in the history of film, Russell Crowe rides a dragon, and Superman snaps a guy’s neck.






Good luck sleeping tonight 5 year old boy who came to see a freakin’ Superman movie and instead watched the embodiment of goodness straight up murder a dude. For great justice! But hey, he seemed kinda bummed about it so he’s still pretty much the same character whose managed to go 80 years without ever killing anyone in the comics, right? Right? It was an utterly joyless CGI spectacle that completely derailed the character for the second time in less than a decade on the big screen. Marvel Studios has nothing to fear from their Distinguished Competitors, who still can’t get their shit together.

1 Comment

Well, you’ll notice he doesn’t defend Russell Crowe riding a dragon, does he?

Seriously though, spoilers to follow.

I get what you’re saying here Mike, but I feel the need to counter your counter-statement. Superman shouldn’t kill. Period. End of sentence. There’s always another way for someone with his powers. That’s the whole point of the WAY BETTER THAN THIS Superman VS The Elite straight to DVD animated film that came out not too long ago, based on the WAY BETTER THAN THIS “What’s So Funny About Truth, Justice, & the American Way?” comic. That’s the reason why he got so pissed at Wonder Woman when she SNAPPED. A. GUY’S. NECK. to save HIM in Wonder Woman Vol. 2 #219. Superman does not kill. It’s a pretty simple guideline for a screenwriter and they completely shat the bed. Having him kill shows a complete lack of understanding of the character. It’s fucked up to watch a movie about Superman put together by people who clearly don’t like Superman very much.

That’s my biggest complaint with the film, but hardly the only one. This movie was so dour and downbeat when things weren’t exploding that I have no desire to ever see any of these miserable humps ever again. Seriously, did anyone ever smile in this movie? Anyone at all? Ever? Maybe Christopher Meloni right before he killed himself. Ugh. Just thinking about this movie is a bummer. When did Superman stop being fun? Why is THAT the one thing they kept from Singer’s Superman Returns debacle?

I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree about the acting and the chemistry of the two leads as that’s all rather subjective and I don’t really want to start a flame war against my artist.

I’m glad you liked it, but I really don’t ever want to see it again. Under any circumstance.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar